Creeps Are Creepy But My Hat Is Awesome

So I’ve never been to Port Noonan, but it’s great here! We’re at the pub, and since we haven’t been able to relax and socialize for a while I decide to make it a thing and wear my bird hat, which is awesome. Everyone loves it, everyone can tell I’m someone who calls the shots….although for some reason my team decided not to listen to me and tell PJ about our mission. Next time maybe I’ll try wearing the hat when I’m doing leadership arguments. I LOVE being the leader in a group for once. With my main friends, who I obviously love, I just basically shot food and sat in a tree, or talked to animals to tell my friends where to go, but mainly didn’t do much. I never got to help out with the big guys, which I know made sense at the time since I was 12. Now that I’m much older (14) I’m much more experienced, and useful. Biter and I have been on our own for months and we’re doing super well. We learn things and practice our skills. We do whatever we feel like doing, such as saving people and drinking beer if we want to. Now Biter and I are going to help beat Salithius at one of his pranks, which I think will really impress Edmund and Willard, and show them that if they ever need me that I can help them out! Salithius is one of their main annoyances. Additionally (plus), I feel really bad about Egersund.  Like, my town of Copper got destroyed and tons of people died. My family died and even though I don’t really remember that, it makes me sad sometimes just knowing it.

Anyways PJ meets us and basically we spend the night drinking and smoking weed, just like a good old night with my buddy Jacob. Hans and Vegard fight to wear my hat, because they’re LOADED. While they fight, Biter and I blaze. Biter swims in some beer, because he’s so MESSED and it’s hilarious. Biter is literally the funniest. Oh yeah, and we don’t do this at the pub, we’re at PJ’s place. It’s pretty big but the best part is that he has a butler that’s just watching us. What is he thinking!? It trips us out. Biter and I eat basically 50 chicken wings. The butler notices.

The next morning is a horror. I feel like garbage and Jean is being all smug about it. We go to the End of the World, and I eat a pig of bacon to feel better. While I’m looking forward to continuing our adventure, I’ll really miss chilling out and eating bacon and smoking weed. I’m also really excited about seeing the Douglas’s, who are pretty much my family. Abby is my (mostly) sister, which I know because even though I think sometimes she gets annoyed by me, I can tell she loves me and would care if I got hurt (she has saved my life). (a few times) (when I was being stupid). Eventually we slug over to pick up our stuff from Irwin and GUESS WHAT HE GIVES ME THE BOW. WITH THIS BOW I AM UNBEATABLE. Pretty much. I LOVE it and I LOVE Irwin. This just shows that my friends were wrong when they said I shouldn’t have showed how good I am at shooting the other day. This shows them an instance when I was right about something, and hopefully they learn from this experience. Learning from an experience is an important part of growing up and becoming better. I make sure not to point out to them that I’m right, because they would likely not enjoy that, but I know the lesson is sinking in. A good leader doesn’t rub their successes in people’s faces.

We get onto the boat at last, and we sail all day. Biter sleeps all day in my hat, which is fine because he doesn’t really love being on the boat. It’s boring for him. I try to keep him from getting too grumpy by making sure he gets the best part of the fish (cheeks). We anchor in a bay and decide to keep watch at night, which likely means all of us will get a good night sleep. This used to happen with my other friends too. It happens to the best of us. Unfortunately in the morning the air is still. There’s no wind, and it’s HOT. We sit there, we talk, I ask people questions about their lives. People like to talk about themselves usually (except for Safin, and actually Aija), and it makes us like each other more I think. Dolf talks about Helga all the time, which I guess for him is like talking about himself? I’m going to be honest, Biter and I don’t really get religion, but I appreciate that they’re magic. Eventually I offer to push the boat with a wind spell that I just learned, except that I don’t know if it will work and people are skeptical (which means they think it will probably suck). We go for a swim instead of taking a chance. The water is delicious. When we get out of the water, Aija notices something.

There’s a man standing on the shore. A freaky man without a face, which isn’t a good sign. Vegard waves at it just in case we “judged a book by the cover”, which apparently isn’t a good thing. I understand this because sometimes people look at me and think I’m just a teen. Anyways the no-face beckons us towards the shore, and I mean, you don’t have to be a genius to know we shouldn’t go to it. These are the reasons why:

  1. No face
  2. Out of nowhere
  3. Salithius
  4. No please
  5. No face (bad sign)
  6. Triangle head
  7. Aija remembers some story about grey things that can kill you without even touching you.
  8. Now it’s walking into water towards us.

So yeah, we start rowing the boat and I go up to the crow’s nest. Ol’ No-Face surfaces(!!!) right where we were. That thing is SPOOKY! I bet it’s jealous of the beholder. When it’s up I channel some lightening into my bow and get super excited when they just flash and zing into No-Face. Unfortunately when the flashing stops, it’s fine. It just walks along the water with its No-Face, and doesn’t care even when Vegard’s arrow hits it. Probably because he can’t see it? Who knows, it’s freaking me out. Vegard goes down to paddle while I hit it with lots of hail arrows, and Dolf “firebolts” it, but it’s still gaining on us. What it’s lacking in face it’s making up in speed. Biter is cheering me on, but I realize that we aren’t really hurting this thing and so we need to try a different solution. I think other people realize this too, because this time when I suggest the wind they don’t laugh at me. Jean and I put up the sails and a rush. We tie Jean to the wheel and go below deck while I concentrate. I feel wind rush through me and onto the water, and I’m kind of BEING the wind as I make a crescent shape that will push our boat away from shore. I make sure that No-Face gets a big dose of wind. We are hopeful, but then we see through the hatch that Jean is just flapping around like a sheet on a clothes wire in a tornado. The strong ones (Hans, Vegard and Erik) go up to save him, and Hans steers instead. It’s pretty impressive. Jean doesn’t look super great… like dead not great. I don’t think about it yet. I’m good at that.

Bodak Close Up

When my wind dies down we are 500m from shore and the thing has turned around. The real wind picks up. When I start feeling relief I also start feeling that Jean’s dead, which is awful. Biter snuggles me. No matter how many times I see someone come back to life, it’s still amazing. AMAZING. Dolf/Helga brings Jean back to life. See?! Sometimes religion is awesome! Rouse was even more dead than Jean and they brought him back, too! Jean’s not feeling great after being dead, and we let him sleep it off. We don’t want him to know he was dead, and he keeps telling these bonkers stories about a man in his head killing him. Not cool Jean, additionally not a great sign. We go upstairs a little spooked and when I go to check on him he’s looking a little…grey. I feel around him with my “judgement”, which sometimes I can sharpen for magic or poison or orcs, feel that he’s evil. Which I didn’t feel before (Jean’s always been chill). I feel uneasy and go upstairs to tell the others. Maybe we need to kill Jean? I really don’t want to. And that’s what the others said they had to do with their entire families. I’m understanding more and more why they’re so driven to beat Salithius. I really really want to help them.

Dolf saves the day again and cures the evil inside Jean using Helga. Old No-Face must have been trying to make a buddy. Classic No-Face, making friends the creepiest way possible. Thank fucking Helga for Helga, because now Jean is as good as new. Also, thank Helga for Dolf, who is a bit “stick up the ass” but really great at Helga. I like him but I don’t think he’s sold on me yet. He will be, though. Jean falls back to sleep, and we keep sailing towards Sweetwater.

~